Change Starts With Me - Using My Emotions to Unravel Problems

Recently I volunteered to work at a conference. Itstunning smile set on a perky face. I was certain that
was my first time volunteering and my first peek atRita's long blond hair and astonishing legs disarmed
a new association.men and women in cities across the county. She was
"Rita" was my contact. She was in charge ofa young, beautiful woman who was used to getting
registrations. Her emails to me were professional andher own way. But why torture me for no reason?
direct. To receive a free day at the conference, ISoon I understood. More evaluation forms would be
needed to volunteer 2 ½ days. This seemedturned in at 4:30. Rita was keeping me so that I
excessive. I would need to give up three days ofcould help enter data at the end of the day. She
work and the start times were sobering-7am at awould keep me until the end of my shift to save
distant, hard to reach, location.herself an hour of work later. How could she do this
Still, I was eager to explore this group. And theto me?
conference WAS expensive. I calculated andI was exhausted and enraged. I was already putting
re-calculated my lost salary against the cost of thein far too much volunteer time. But Rita was
conference. If I added up the travel and hotel costs,determined to squeeze every last ounce out of me.
the price of volunteering became even greater. But,What could I do? I had already worked most of my
maybe I'd be able to listen in on some extra sessionshours. If I walked out now would I forfeit my free
during those 2+ days? Maybe I'd meet some bigday at the conference? I was stuck. Trapped by a
names behind the scenes? Although I was concernedbeautiful witch who didn't care about my exhaustion,
about the requirements, I agreed to Rita's conditions.or the fact that I had already given her many hours
On my first workday, I took a train and a cab,of enthusiastic service. I was to wait quietly for 2
careful to arrive a bit early. I wore my new black suit.½ hours. I was to smile and wait and work until the
I had bought it especially for the event-per Rita'send.
dress code instructions. After hellos, I began my firstI tried to think through my rage and figure out a
task--stuffing name badges. I worked with twosolution. I couldn't see staying but I couldn't leave
temporary workers and the rest of the out of towneither. I closed my eyes and tried to find the center
conference planning staff. This latter group of roadof myself. I tried to pray. I tried to find an answer to
warriors were uninterested in the conference agendathis dilemma. It was difficult, there were people
or the group I'd hope to investigate. I sadly realizednearby but I was so angry that I didn't care. I willed
that my hopes for an inside scoop had been naïve.myself to keep my eyes closed and ignore their
I had little to do on the second day. I handed offcomments and stares. I kept praying for guidance
some bags to attendees, read the conferenceand a way out of the rage I felt.
materials, and tried to stay awake. My ½ hourI was surprised that I could focus past the others
break vanished in the long walk to find an overpricedand get to a very deep and calm inner space. I
lunch. I was grateful for the end of my 7 hour shiftrested. If I was forced to wait, I would find a way
and wondered how I'd get through the next gruelingto make it as pleasurable and healing as possible.
day.In my newfound calm, I pondered my predicament.
I've never been good at comprehending numbers.Soon I realized that I had created this problem when
When I saw 7am-5:30pm on Rita's first email, I onlyI agreed to the extensive volunteer hours. Even if
saw a day of work, not 10+ hours. Or was it simplythey were unfair, I had agreed to them. Even if I had
wishful thinking-my hope that Rita would let me outfelt no choice in the terms, I had still agreed to them.
early? There was little to do. Rita would let me outIt wasn't Rita's fault. It was my own.
early. She had to.I felt better. If I had created this problem, I could
I arrived bright and eager for my third shift. Therevow to never do it again. I continued to rest and
was more to do-entering evaluation scores-- and Imeditate on my new insight: I would try never again
speedily typed page after page. I would endearto agree to a situation that felt unjust or wrong. I
myself to cold Rita. I would prove my worthiness andwould not make agreements that I wouldn't want to
get out early.keep.
By 2pm, I was exhausted and brain dead. I hadThe 2 ½ hours passed. I entered data for my last
never been great at early mornings and now therehour. As I gathered my things to leave, Rita once
was nothing to do. It had taken 3 days of diligenceagain tried out her dazzling smile. "Guess this was a
to prove to Rita that I wasn't a flake or a slacker. Ihard day, huh?" she said.
had arrived early every morning and worked withI never thought you'd keep me for the entire day," I
enthusiasm each day. I felt ready to play my hand.said. I was clearly angry but no longer filled with an
"Rita, can you see letting me out early today?"impotent rage. Before she could counter, I continued.
Rita smiled but shook her head. "I don't think so," she"It was my fault. I should never have agreed to
purred. I didn't smile back. Why would she keep methose hours. It was my fault. I learned a lesson."
three more hours?It felt good to tell the truth. I had learned a lesson. I
"My train, there aren't that many trains that leavehad made a bad choice. I would learn from it.
and it would help me if..." My voice trailed off, IMy rage woke me up to my mistake. And my
wasn't the best liar. But it didn't matter, Rita wasn'temotions will alert me in the future. The next time I
listening.feel queasy at a request, I'll look closely at the terms
"Whatever train leaves after 5:30, that's the oneand be more honest about my willingness to honor
you'll have to take." She smiled again. It was athem.